I have been married for 11 years now. I have 2 children 6 and 10 years of age. I have been loyal and responsible during my marriage. I have never drank or smoked or put my family in any compromising position(s). I am not holier than thou....so dont assume that. Everyone has flaws. I know this. Here it goes.
I found out my wife was chaeting on me in December of 2008. I found out by having her Blackberry in my hand while I was trying to check the time. The Blackberryturned on and it went straight to a IM message on Yahoo. It said "How are you?". I showed her and asked her what it was all about. She tried grabbing the phone from me and told me she didnt know. She said to give her the phone frantically. In this process the phone shut down again and that info was gone. She then proceded on telling me that it was probably from the old user because she sent her original phone out to be fixed from water damage and they sent her this one. I didnt buy it. I caught her.
To make this story alittle shorter. It turns out that she has been chatting with numerous guys for over 8 months. I should have known something was wrong when she needed to sleep with the phone by her side at all times. But I was trusting of her. If I dont trust her, I felt i was doing a disservice...and so I had to trust her. She told me that she met them through Craig's List. She put out an ad about how she just wants sex and that she loves a guy in uniform...especially COPS...etc. To make another long story short she met up with about 7 of these guys...she claims....and had sex with them..wentto the lake and gave a blowjob to someone she never met.....she carried on a sexual relationship with a cop for 6 months......she even brought 3 to our house. She eventually gave me her password for the Yahoo account....and over a period of 5 months....I had a total of over 30 guys that would write and IM her when I logged on to the account. I still pretended to be her. The majority of them was saying they wanna hook up again......when are we going to ♥♥♥♥♥.......when can I come over......etc. Then I found out that her ex from 12 years ago was also in the picture. She went and had sex with him...again. This is the 3rd time she has cheated on me with him over the 13 years we have been together. Once while we were engaged...once after about 3 years of marriage....and now. She also slept with one of my supposed friends 3 years ago. She just admitted this now that I asked her for all the truths about cheating when I found out in December of 2011. What I forgot to mention was that prior to me finding all this out...our 10 year wedding anniversary was in August 2008. I felt something wasnt right with our marriage...so I sat her down and asked her if she was still happy with our marriage and wanted to still move forward. She told me yes.....and I bought her a 10 year anniversary ring worth $4,000. She always wanted this....so I got it for her. We renewed our wedding vows in a church that day....and everything seemed fine. We dont have much money and are always in debt because she likes to overspend. That is partially my fault for allowing it....but I was scared to lose her if I didnt allow it. I know, my fault again. But I had a secret from her....I play online poker and won $20,000....and never told her.....we were drowning in her debt......and after I found out what she did ....I had a decision to make....leave her and start a new life with $20,000 or pay off everything and move forward. I decided to give her another chance and payed everything off.....which left us at a $0 balance and fresh start. I was and still am having a hard time dealing with all this.....but now shes telling me shes at a point where she needs to "find herself"......and doesnt know if she wants to be with me....WTF?!.....what more can I do to uphold my oath to God and or keep the family together for the kids sake of being raised with 2 parents. She is a beautiful woman......and I love her......but I seem to be going crazy now.....If I let her go....I know she will turn into a slut....be abused...taken advantage of...etc......and then the kids will be raised with the majority of their time with her....and she is never leading a good example of how to properly parent. I am fearful the kids will grow up with that and there lives will be ruined to a certain extent. Then ill feel the burden of failing them.......There is much more to the story......just ask questions...im running out of time to write.......please feel free to comment and maybe guide me......The problem is I cant support myself if she leaves...i would have to pay child support.....I make $40,000....but my job is looking like it will be outsourced...what do i do?!
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